Nodding, biscuits and reflective processes.
Because professional growth is easier with a comfortable chair near the refreshments.
Professional Development (PD), also known as Continuing Professional Development, Inset Training, or “That Day When I Should’ve Stayed in Bed,” is an integral part of the school year.
It is the sacred time when teachers gather to learn new strategies, explore best practices, and perfect the art of looking attentive while thinking about lunch.
This chapter will help you navigate PD days with very little enthusiasm, questionable alertness, and absolutely no intention of implementing anything new unless it reduces workload by at least 97%.
Let’s begin with the truth:
PD is rarely development and even less often professional.
Your mindset should be:
If the schedule says “interactive session,” you already know what that means: you’ll be forced to move your chair at least twice.
Be emotionally prepared.
The unofficial dress code for PD is:
Remember, PD day outfits should whisper “I’m learning,” while shouting “I might take a nap.”
Seating is crucial.
Ideal locations:
Avoid:
Your goal is simple: remain unchosen.
The professional nod has many forms:
Use them wisely.
Use them often.
They work even if you haven’t processed a single word.
Professional development begins with low expectations and ends near the remaining biscuits.
Attention rises briefly after coffee and falls sharply during forced role-play.
Every PD session includes an avalanche of buzzwords. You don’t need to understand them—just recognise them and repeat them confidently later.
Common sightings:
Pro tip: If asked for input, simply say,
“I think we need a more holistic, student-led approach.”
No one will question you.
Interactive activities exist solely to test your patience.
Types include:
Tips for coping:
The ideal seat balances visibility, comfort, power access and escape potential.
The front row is a specialist position.
Always bring a notebook.
Inside it, write:
Hold the pen with intent.
Occasionally underline something.
You are now a “reflective practitioner.”
You’ll meet many PD presenters. Recognising them helps you survive.
Uses too many metaphors and says “Isn’t this exciting?”
(It isn’t.)
Survival strategy: Smile. Blink slowly. Breathe.
Has 87 slides and no sense of time.
Survival strategy: Pretend to analyse a graph while daydreaming.
Talks about “the classroom” as if it’s a mythological realm.
Survival strategy: Offer sympathetic nods.
Introduces icebreakers involving string, balloons, or human pyramids.
Survival strategy: Develop an urgent fake responsibility (e.g., “I must oversee gluten-free snack arrangements.”)
Because professional growth is easier with a comfortable chair near the refreshments.
At PD events, lunchtime is sacred.
Become highly efficient:
Bond with colleagues over shared suffering.
At the end of PD, you’ll be told to apply what you learned.
A simple system:
If anyone asks how PD impacted your practice, respond with:
“It definitely informed my reflective process.”
This is teacher code for “I forgot everything by the time I got home.”
It definitely informed your reflective process.
You took notes, nodded occasionally, survived the role-play and downloaded a presentation you may never open. The visible signs of professional growth are complete.
Your development is thriving quietly, somewhere near the biscuit table.
Give the complete paperback edition of The Lazy Teacher Guide to a teacher who deserves a laugh and permission to protect their time.
Buy the book as a gift